Tag: Voice

Falling on Deaf Ears: When Others Don’t Honor Your Voice

Falling on Deaf Ears: When Others Don’t Honor Your Voice

I recently had an experience where I tried to explain a business situation to someone who absolutely refused to hear what I had to say. This person, in fact, interrupted me and walked away leaving me feeling resentful, disrespected, and not wanting to engage with her ever again.

Honoring your voice doesn’t mean you will always be heard. Sometimes, your message cannot be received by the person you are communicating with because it is not something that can be accepted. Sometimes your message is out of the realm of their preferred reality. When this person walked away from me, I not only was insulted, I was also triggered with the emotional memories of people in my past who refused to accept the expanded version of myself and literally withdrew their love and attention from me when I dared to speak up or contradict their version of reality.

But what can you do when someone refuses to hear you?

For years, I wasted precious energy trying to convince people in my life to hear me out. Many times I was ultimately silenced, feeling exhausted and resentful. It validated my victim mentality that is so common with co-dependency.

Eventually, I realized that speaking my truth is my part but being heard is out of my control. That’s when I stopped wasting my breath on people who just couldn’t handle my truth.

In my personal journey, I have outgrown many people. But I have found that by remaining true to myself, I have attracted new people who are on a similar path. They are open and supportive and always willing to lend an ear. It is true that your vibe attracts your tribe.

 If someone has shown you that they are consistently unwilling to listen, they have shown you who they are in relation to your authenticity. If it is not a match, you might question if this person should remain in your life. But do not question your resolve to speak your truth! By doing so, your voice will find it’s way to those who eagerly want to hear what you have to say. And while they may not always agree with you, they will always appreciate you for honoring your voice!

An Offer I Couldn’t Refuse

An Offer I Couldn’t Refuse

Recently, I was sitting in traffic listening to an interview on talk radio with an author who was promoting his book on politics. I was ready to change the station when the interviewer mentioned the author’s past career as a movie critic and asked about his favorite movie. The author’s voice changed and with absolute certainty, he replied “The Godfather”. He then went on to animately explain why and mentioned all the movie’s nuances of directing, lighting, musical score and of course the stellar acting. He had such passion and conviction in his voice, I was captivated! That weekend, I began a marathon of binge-watching The Godfather Trilogy. I did not, however, buy his book.

Which voice sells? When the author’s agenda of selling was interrupted and he stopped promoting his book, he relaxed and began talking about something he clearly had a passion for. He unconsciously changed his voice. It became natural and flowing. He loved everything about this film and it showed. No more agenda of promoting, just talking about something he loved. It was irresistible!

When you speak from a place of authenticity you light up and attract with little effort. The best sales pitch is really no pitch at all. It’s being so genuinely passionate and interested in a product or service that your voice and speech reflect this without the need for rehearsal and with little thought. So many in sales have been trained in a myriad of marketing and psychological strategies thinking “I can make a good living selling this even though I am not passionate about it.” To that I say, your voice gives you away and eventually, you will burn out. Stop the agenda of selling something which always has a little bit of angst. Make a genuine connection with your potential customers by talking about what makes YOU genuinely excited about the product or service. Then, to borrow a quote from Vito Corleone of The Godfather, you naturally “Make them an offer they can’t refuse”.